Skip to main content

Music is Everything….

I don’t know what I would do without music. No matter what mood I am in, there is a song that soothes my soul.

Arcade~ Duncan Laurence ft. Fletcher

A broken heart is all that's leftI'm still fixing all the cracksLost a couple of pieces whenI carried it, carried it, carried it home
I'm afraid of all I amMy mind feels like a foreign landSilence ringing inside my headPlease carry me, carry me, carry me home
I've spent all of the love I savedWe were always a losing gameSmall town boy in a big arcadeI got addicted to a losing game
OhOhAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing game
Do you love me, love me not?Giving pieces from my heartTomorrow's coming and has goneStill I carried, I carried, I carried on
OhOhAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing game
OhOhAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing game
I don't need your games, game over
Get me off this rollercoaster
OhOhAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing game
OhOhAll I know, all I knowLoving you is a losing game

❤️

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Thursday….The New “Hump” Day?

 Well today was a shit show. Wrapped up in depression and self loathing. It felt like a Wednesday. But surprisingly it was a Thursday. Hoping for a better tomorrow (Friday).  Today, I have been told I need to hold on (by a few people). Also that I need to stop believing I’m a literal piece of shit. How does one just stop feeling like a burden? How do I just turn off the hell that is depression? If I had that answer do you not think I wouldn’t just “feel better” if I could? I feel like screaming. I know the people who care about me in my life mean well. But if I could turn off this feeling don’t you think I would? It’s this constant voice inside my head (the never ending narrative) that I am not good enough, I’m a burden, why would anyone care about me? I don’t deserve to be loved and cared for. It’s sinister. This voice inside my head. I’m in a funk. I wish I could turn it off. I used to just drink it away. Anything to numb this feeling of emptiness. My best friend told me she...

Hurt.

The worst part of being hurt has to be that you never know when you’re going to stop hurting. I fell for someone hard. The worst part is that he went along with it when he had NO INTENTION to reciprocate the feelings. Well he did reciprocate the feelings to a degree…. but then it all changed. I feel like I have experienced some great loss. Like it’s crazy. I know with my BPD I get attached to people very quickly and this is no different. I opened up, he acted like he understood and felt similar…..only to end up now barely communicating with me at all. I always wonder…..why am I not good enough?   So now I’m done. I don’t deserve scraps. I don’t deserve those little breadcrumbs that he is giving me to hold out hope for something that doesn’t exist.  But here I am, the one up at 4am cause I can’t sleep, my brain won’t stop. I know I have a lot of healing to do within myself. I can only hope that I will eventually find someone who accepts me for me. But this hurts so fucking much...

Hi….Is Anyone Out There?

 I’m constantly at odds with myself. I’m an enigma. One day okay, the next day suicidal (sometimes all in one day). I’m so exhausted mentally. I’m going to be 38 this year….I feel like I’m not where I am supposed to be in life and that bothers me. My mental health has always been a defining characteristic and maybe I don’t know who I am, if I’m not suffering in some way. But I know I have to change. I have to try. This is killing me and it’s a slow brutal death.  I have so many health issues mentally and physically. The hardest thing to do is to keep pushing through each day when it feels like there is nothing to live for. I have to learn how to live for myself and not live for other people. I have to learn how to focus on me, and stop putting energy into people who can’t/won’t meet me half way or return the amount of energy I put into them. Don’t even get me started on my love life. What love life? Currently stuck in the awkward situation of being at that friends but not tota...